In the first of our series on how you successfully set and stick to new year’s resolutions, we share where people go wrong at the start of the process so you can avoid these pitfalls.
Many people’s thoughts turn to new year’s resolutions around this time. Perhaps yours have too.
Chances are there have been years when you are clear about what you want to achieve and others when resolutions pass you by.
Whether you are looking to buy a new house, set up a new business or achieve something else in 2021, it’s vital you avoid the mistakes many people make at the outset which set them up for failure.
After all, what’s the point of setting a goal for the new year if you probably won’t succeed? Why set yourself up to fail?
To avoid setting yourself up to fail, you need to think differently
Let’s consider a person who decides to stop smoking.
They proudly tell everyone they are going to quit and it feels good.
And then they fail. So, what went wrong?
Well maybe they have a half a packet left when they decide to stop, so they decide they will smoke it and quit at the weekend.
And then the weekend comes, and they remember it’s a friend’s birthday. Better wait until next week to stop, but they still feel good as the intention remains.
They carry on telling people they are going to quit and feeling good at the prospect. So much so, when next week comes round that they put it off for another week, after all they are going to quit.
And then finally they quit. But gosh they want a cigarette; they have defined themselves as someone that is quitting. Quitting smoking. The word in their head is smoking, constantly reminding them of cigarettes.
The pressure builds up and they have a cigarette. And then they feel guilty. The guilt makes them feel like a failure, so much that they smoke another cigarette to feel better.
This cigarette turns into many. And before you know it, they have not quit.
This story is so common. It might be a diet, getting fit, getting a new job…but the common elements are the same. So, what can you do to avoid this scenario and succeed with your resolution?
Don’t focus on today, focus on the future
Resolutions are goals and goals are important.
Goals are for the future they are not for today. They give us the vision of what our life will be.
Because our goals are about the future, we need to make sure we define them in the right way. They need to be defined by what we want to be in the future (I want to read more) and not what we are in the present (I want to watch TV less).
For instance, why go for a run when its dark, cold, and raining outside? Your goal of running the marathon means you should. Today it would be better to stay indoors, but the future is better if you go for a run.
You need to identify what you really want and why.
You can imagine that you might want to give up smoking because “smoking is bad for my health”, “my partner doesn’t like it”, “it’s expensive”. But which one matters to you and why? Maybe you are giving up as you want to be able to take the kids for a bike ride without getting out of breath, or to save money to take the family on an amazing holiday.
Knowing the “why” is crucial to success
Once you know why you want to achieve something you have a better chance of achieving your goal. You can visualise how you will feel when you achieve it. You can bottle that happy felling and carry it around with you. And when achieving your goal feels tough, you can take out that little bottle of happiness and remind yourself how good the future is going to feel.
To focus on “quitting smoking” is to focus on not having the next cigarette. And to not have the next cigarette, we need to focus on the feeling of the future.
In part 2 of this series we will be explaining how to win with your resolutions. Don’t forget to follow Stag Protect, on Facebook or LinkedIn, to see your latest blogs as they are released.
